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ds_recsreduxTitle: I can see the stars from a million miles
Author: it's a mystery
Pairing: Fraser/Kowalski
Rating: PG-13
Length: 7300 words
Why I'm reccing this story:In honor of our electricity finally being restored (what's the point of living in the Midwest if the hurricanes are going to get you anyway?), I've selected a story that, as well as being a prime example of the sheer weirdness Team Whimsy is capable of, gave me a bit of extra happiness because I'd finally seen Starman earlier this month and so had that whole improbably scenario pretty fresh in my memory. Beneath the crack it's pretty sad that the aliens' plot nearly goes off without a hitch, but otherwise this fic is a testament to the glory of crack. Everything that happens? Half Huey and Dewey's fault.
Three months ago
Mrfpztztt accessed the database to interpret what he was getting via the sensor. He was thrilled to be part of the first Frptznfti expedition to this planet, even if many other species had been here before. Fortunately they had intelligence from the Baleptitrons to work with, and they had decided tracking the Baleptitrons' subjects would be a good starting point.
Up in his ship, Mrfpztztt maneuvered the remote sensor.
The room he was scanning had many beings in it, some bent onto small supports ("chairs"), next to large rectangular shapes ("desks"), some upright and moving about. Many were speaking loudly.
A being with a tufted topping reached out and touched one in a bright coating. "Hey, you up for lunch?" Ah! The database pinged. This was subject Stanley Raymond Kowalski. Mrfpztztt paid close attention.
Stanley Raymond Kowalski's companion said, "If I don't get back and finish that stack of HR three oblique stroke thirty-sevens, I'm afraid the Inspector will have my hide."
"Yeah, okay, buddy. I'll give you a ride, we'll pick you up something to go on the way."
The two exited the room while Mrfpztztt was still trying to translate "HR three oblique stroke thirty-sevens."
A short being that smelled strongly of food spoke to a tall one. "Jeez. You could replace that guy with a robot, and no one could tell the difference."
"If the robot knew Inuit stories."
"Yeah, you'd have to program it with Inuit stories. And an encyclopedia."
"And the RCMP Manual."
"True."
"Dief would know the difference."
"Nah, the robot could buy the wolf off with doughnuts, and he'd never tell."
"Hmm, you have a point."
Mrfpztztt accessed the meaning of "robot," then breeped quietly to himself in excitement. This could be exactly what they had been looking for.
I can see the stars from a million miles
Author: it's a mystery
Pairing: Fraser/Kowalski
Rating: PG-13
Length: 7300 words
Why I'm reccing this story:
Three months ago
Mrfpztztt accessed the database to interpret what he was getting via the sensor. He was thrilled to be part of the first Frptznfti expedition to this planet, even if many other species had been here before. Fortunately they had intelligence from the Baleptitrons to work with, and they had decided tracking the Baleptitrons' subjects would be a good starting point.
Up in his ship, Mrfpztztt maneuvered the remote sensor.
The room he was scanning had many beings in it, some bent onto small supports ("chairs"), next to large rectangular shapes ("desks"), some upright and moving about. Many were speaking loudly.
A being with a tufted topping reached out and touched one in a bright coating. "Hey, you up for lunch?" Ah! The database pinged. This was subject Stanley Raymond Kowalski. Mrfpztztt paid close attention.
Stanley Raymond Kowalski's companion said, "If I don't get back and finish that stack of HR three oblique stroke thirty-sevens, I'm afraid the Inspector will have my hide."
"Yeah, okay, buddy. I'll give you a ride, we'll pick you up something to go on the way."
The two exited the room while Mrfpztztt was still trying to translate "HR three oblique stroke thirty-sevens."
A short being that smelled strongly of food spoke to a tall one. "Jeez. You could replace that guy with a robot, and no one could tell the difference."
"If the robot knew Inuit stories."
"Yeah, you'd have to program it with Inuit stories. And an encyclopedia."
"And the RCMP Manual."
"True."
"Dief would know the difference."
"Nah, the robot could buy the wolf off with doughnuts, and he'd never tell."
"Hmm, you have a point."
Mrfpztztt accessed the meaning of "robot," then breeped quietly to himself in excitement. This could be exactly what they had been looking for.
I can see the stars from a million miles
